“Healing from Bitterness, One Step at a Time.”

(The Bitterness Trilogy: My True Life Story – Chapter 2)

There are feelings that don’t yet have names when you’re a child — but your heart still knows what they mean. I didn’t know the word abandonment, but I knew exactly what it felt like.

From the earliest memories I’ve been told, my mother would leave me in my crib with soiled diapers and bottles of spoiled milk from days before. She would disappear into the streets for days at a time, leaving me alone to fend for myself, even as a baby. I would cry until I couldn’t anymore — hungry, tired, and confused — waiting for someone who would not return.

Imagine the loneliness of a child so young, already learning how to survive in silence. Those early experiences became my first lessons in independence, though they were born from pain, not strength.

My Aunt Lila often shared the stories of those early days. At just fourteen years old, she would walk from school to my mother’s apartment because my grandmother had asked her to check on me. When she arrived, she would find me alone — sometimes hungry, sometimes dirty, but always waiting.

Lila took it upon herself to carry me home. My grandmother’s house wasn’t far, but every walk must have felt like carrying the weight of what no child should see. My grandmother, though firm, was filled with both anger and compassion. I was her first grandchild — the daughter of her son who had chosen the streets instead of fatherhood. She was determined to get me out of that situation before something tragic happened.

I wish I could tell you that once my grandmother stepped in, my mother fought to get clean, to come for me, and to become the mother I needed. But the truth is, she never did. She didn’t fight for me. She didn’t even try.

My grandmother eventually took her to court, and my mother lost her parental rights. I was told she was still struggling with addiction and pregnant with my brother — born just eleven months after me, what some call “Siamese twins.”

I met him for the first time when I was about five years old. My mother came to visit, along with my uncle, who was in a wheelchair. I don’t remember much from that day — just that it felt short, awkward, and heavy. It must have broken her heart to see me and then leave me again, but she still didn’t return. She never came back.

Maybe it destroyed her to lose me, but it destroyed me too — in ways I didn’t understand until years later.

I felt lost.

Unwanted.

Forgotten.

But even in that pain, God was already beginning the work of healing that I could not yet see.

🌷 Reflection:

Bitterness doesn’t always grow overnight. Sometimes, it begins as confusion, then turns into grief, and slowly hardens into anger.

But when I look back now, I see something else growing in that same soil — resilience, purpose, and a hunger to break the cycle.

🕊️ Tags:

#HealingJourney #FaithAndForgiveness #BitternessTrilogy #ChildhoodHealing #TestimonyOfGrace #FaithOverFear

Sins of the Mother and Father

Transformed from a lost woman to a redeemed and renewed woman

On January 16, 1976, I came into this world—born to two parents who weren’t ready to take on the responsibility of parenting together. Because of their choices, I entered a world already filled with brokenness, abandonment, anger, and sadness. I didn’t ask for it, yet it became my first inheritance.

The earliest image I carry is of myself at nine months old—standing in my crib, crying, with no one in sight. I was told I had a soiled diaper that nearly touched the mattress, and that my biological mother had been gone for days. That image has stayed with me, shaping how I understood love and absence.

“Then He said to them all, ‘If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.’”

— Luke 9:23

At nine months old, I was taken from my biological mother due to neglect and drug use. One afternoon, she dropped me off at my grandmother’s house, promising to return in a few hours. But those few hours turned into days, and days into silence. She never came back.

No calls. No visits. No goodbyes.

It was as if she had vanished—leaving me behind to be raised by my grandmother.

At that tender age, I didn’t understand the word abandonment, but I felt it. Even as a baby, I must have known that love wasn’t supposed to disappear.

🌿 Reflection:

This is where my story begins—not in perfection, but in pain.

Not in strength, but in survival.

This chapter isn’t about blame; it’s about understanding how bitterness first took root in my life—and how, through faith and grace, I learned to release it.

#BitternessTrilogy #TrueStory #FaithAndHealing #RedemptionJourney #HealingThroughFaith #NewBeginnings

💫 Next Post Preview:

Part Two – Healing Begins

From abandonment to awakening — learning to forgive what broke me, and to trust the One who never left.

 “Waiting is not wasting—it’s working in silence.”

We often see waiting as stillness, but it’s one of life’s most sacred teachers. It’s in the waiting that faith deepens, that strength grows roots, and that healing truly takes shape.

You may feel forgotten, but waiting is not punishment—it’s preparation.

In the Waiting

Seeds don’t bloom overnight. Strength is built in quiet moments. Peace is born from patience.

When you surrender the timeline and trust the process, you discover that even in pause, purpose is at work.

✍️ Journal Prompt:

What are you waiting for, and what might this season be teaching you about trust?

Don’t rush the bloom. Some of the most beautiful things in life need time to grow. Waiting isn’t about what you lose—it’s about what’s being prepared for you.

Hashtags: #TheWaitingSeason #FaithInTheProcess #TrustTheTiming #PatienceAndPurpose #HealingJourney

The waiting season wasn’t just about learning to trust God’s timing — it was about facing the truth.

Healing doesn’t begin in comfort; it begins in confrontation.

To move forward, I had to confront the roots of my bitterness and the legacy I was born into.

Next: Sins of the Mother — where the story truly begins.

🌸 “You can’t release what you haven’t named.”

Before healing can begin, we must look inward—honestly, gently, and with courage. Taking an inventory of your heart means acknowledging what you’re carrying—both the burdens and the blessings.

We often try to skip ahead to peace without pausing to see what’s actually inside. But healing begins with awareness.

🌿 What’s in Your Heart Today?

Maybe it’s:

The weight of disappointment. The sting of betrayal. The quiet ache of hope still waiting to bloom.

Taking inventory doesn’t mean judging yourself. It means recognizing what’s there, so you can decide what to keep, what to release, and what to heal.

What emotions have been living in your heart lately? Which ones deserve space, and which ones are ready to move on?

💫 Closing Thought:

The heart holds stories that shape who we are—but it also holds room for renewal. When you know what’s in your heart, you can finally choose what grows there next.

Hashtags: #InventoryOfTheHeart #HealingJourney #EmotionalAwareness #InnerPeace #HeartWork

🌸 “You can’t release what you haven’t named.”

Before healing can begin, we must look inward—honestly, gently, and with courage. Taking an inventory of your heart means acknowledging what you’re carrying—both the burdens and the blessings.

We often try to skip ahead to peace without pausing to see what’s actually inside. But healing begins with awareness.

🌿 What’s in Your Heart Today?

Maybe it’s:

The weight of disappointment. The sting of betrayal. The quiet ache of hope still waiting to bloom.

Taking inventory doesn’t mean judging yourself. It means recognizing what’s there, so you can decide what to keep, what to release, and what to heal.

What emotions have been living in your heart lately? Which ones deserve space, and which ones are ready to move on?

💫 Closing Thought:

The heart holds stories that shape who we are—but it also holds room for renewal. When you know what’s in your heart, you can finally choose what grows there next.

Hashtags: #InventoryOfTheHeart #HealingJourney #EmotionalAwareness #InnerPeace #HeartWork

Healing and growth are not easy paths, but we don’t have to walk them alone. Books become companions—guides that remind us we’re not stuck, and that freedom is possible.

Here are two that have deeply inspired me:

1. Casual Business Moves Back to Life: Fighting Injustice with Justice by Jameel Williams

A powerful reflection on resilience, integrity, and building strength in the face of injustice. This book is a reminder that justice and perseverance can create new beginnings where bitterness once lived.

2. She Wins and She Wins Again by Andromeda Raheem

These books are both a rallying cry and a roadmap for women determined to rise. They show us that healing and victory go hand in hand, and that no setback has the final word.

✨ These books remind us that healing isn’t passive—it’s a choice to keep growing, building, and believing in what’s possible.

Bitterness clenches the hand into a fist. Healing loosens the grip. But freedom? Freedom opens the hand wide.

To live with open hands is to live unafraid—to give and receive love, to embrace peace, to welcome what’s ahead without being chained to what’s behind.

What Open Hands Mean

They no longer hold bitterness. They are ready to build and create. They are free to extend grace and forgiveness. They are ready to receive blessings without fear.

Closed Hands vs. Open Hands

Closed hands cling to the past. Open hands welcome the future. Closed hands hoard hurt. Open hands release and trust.

Daily Writing Prompt

Where in your life are you still living with clenched hands? What would it look like to live open-handed instead?

Closing Thought

The journey doesn’t end with letting go. It begins with open hands—hands ready to heal, to help, and to hold onto what truly matters.

That’s the close of my Bitterness Trilogy, but the journey doesn’t stop here.

Next up: The Inventory of the Heart, Roots and Fruits, and The Waiting Season.

Every ending is a new beginning—let’s keep walking this healing path together.

Your Turn

I’d love to hear from you:

What part of this series spoke to you the most? What do you want to explore deeper in the weeks ahead?

Drop your thoughts in the comments or share this post with someone who may need it.

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